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Being half drunk is wasted money. We have an open-door policy: bring beer, and we will open the door. There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it. (Thomas Love Peacock, English novelist, 1785-1866)


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"If you can't laugh at yourself, crack open another beer and try again." "Beer: Because sometimes one great punchline is all you need." "Why did the beer cross the road? To get to the party on the other side!" "A good beer and a good laugh: the ultimate stress relievers." "Laughter is the best medicine, but beer is a close second."


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Related: Funny 21st Birthday Quotes. Funny beer puns. 1. Beer you go. 2. You're lager than life. 3. I'm feeling ale. 4. Don't worry, beer happy. Photo by David Em/Humor Living. 5. Happy beer-thday. 6. As Shakes-beer said, to beer or not to beer. 7. I wish you were beer. 8. I'm beer-y happy to see you. 9. IPA lot when I drink.


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"Ways to my heart: buy me beer, pour me beer, take me out for beers." "Us: we're only having one beer tonight. Narrator: they did not only have one beer." "Crush the workout. Drink the beer. Cut the toxic people out of your life. Repeat." "Not to toot my own horn, but I'm, like, really good at drinking beer."


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Gulp Your Way to Glory. Because 'Ale's Well' that Ends Well. Delight in the Draft. Brewed for Boldness. Hoppy Taste, Happy Place. The Only Therapy You Can Drink. Hops, Barley, Bliss. Brewed with Love, Enjoyed with Friends. Where Craft Meets Class. Crafting Conversations, One Pint at a Time. Beer: Because No Great Story Started with a Salad.


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1. Don't worry, BEER happy! 2. Love is ALE we need. 3. I give into beer pressure. 4. It's beer o'clock somewhere! 5. I am silently judging your beer selection! 6. Do you know what rhymes with Friday? Beer. 7. Beer makes everything better! 8. I tried running. Gave it up. I kept spilling my beer. 9. Life is BREW-tiful! You know what time it is…


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15. "Beer has food value, but food has no beer value.". 16. "Beer he drank - seven goblets. His spirit was loosened. He became hilarious. His heart was glad and his face shown." - from the Epic of Gilgamesh, 3000 B.C. 17. "Beer is a wholesome liquor…it abounds with nourishment" -Dr. Benjamin Rush.


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212 Copy quote Show source Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs 46 Copy quote I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion. Miguel de Cervantes Drinking, Beer, Alcohol 21 Copy quote Show source


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Beergasm: the climactic moment when you try a REALLY good beer. I don't care if the glass is half empty or half full… As long as it has beer in it. You know who deserves a beer tonight? Read that first word again. Beer is good but beers are better. Drink triple, see double, act single. Don't think of it like a beer.


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"Nothing is more expensive than the first beer." - French Proverb "This leads to the great theory of human history: that we didn't start farming because we wanted food—there was loads of that around. We started farming because we wanted booze." - Mark Forsyth "Well, yeah it doesn't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles.


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1. "Wish you were beer." 2. I think I'll have a salad for lunch. "Beer is made from Hops! Hops are plants. Beer= Salad! You're welcome." 3. A beer a day keeps reality away. "Drink this much.


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Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!". ― Bill Owen. "Wine is complicated, beer is complex.". ― Brett Joyce. "He was a wise man who invented beer.". ― Plato. "A bottle of beer contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.". ― Louis Pasteur. "Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.".


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"I'm a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don't get it. It smells like a girl who didn't shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on." MADS MIKKELSEN "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." GEORGE BURNS


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Funny Beer Phrases Hey, beer or teddy bear both give a feeling of soft mind and fluffy like in the air, lightweight, well after drinking, if you feel very light tension free and get out of your mind, then here is a list of funny beer phrases. It was a woman who drove me to drink; I feel like getting pushed to the scuppers


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84 Funny Quotes On Beer: The Most Popular Drinking Quotations Leave a Comment / / By John Whitlock Cheap beer has a tendency of highlighting a person's idiosyncrasies. Intoxicated individuals will say and do things they would never consider doing sober.


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Think about it." -- Hunter S. Thompson, writer & rocker of Hawaiian shirts "Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world." -- Jack Nicholson, actor & professional Lakers fan "Never underestimate.